Category Archives: Humor

Fruits test positive for COVID?

  • Kiwi
  • Pawpaw
  • Coca Cola
  • Apple Juice
  • Goat

A goat is not a fruit, but someone tested a goat and it fell into the same “COVID positive” group. Funny, until you consider the misery that this type of testing has caused so many people all over the world…

ITALY: Scientists use lateral flow antigen rapid “SARSCoV2 test” on a kiwi fruit. The kiwi fruit is positive. Please note: there are no tests for Covid19. Selling these as “tests” is a global fraud.

See also:  https://nypost.com/2020/05/06/faulty-coronavirus-kits-suspected-as-goat-and-fruit-test-positive-in-tanzania/

Hard-Working Plumber Looking Forward To Paying For His Neighbor’s Gender Studies Degree

PADUCAH, KY—With Democrats proposing the mass cancellation of student debt, successful Americans around the country are really looking forward to paying taxes to relieve the debt of people who purchased expensive yet useless college degrees. One local plumbing contractor, Sam Caughorn, is really looking forward to paying the tab on his neighbor’s $89,000 gender studies degree.

“Listen, I’m just a plumber,” he said. “I didn’t go to college, but I work hard and support my family. I don’t know about all that high-falutin gender stuff they teach in college, but I’m sure it must be important since it’s so expensive! Happy to help out another person in need.”…

More at https://babylonbee.com/news/hard-working-plumber-looking-forward-to-paying-his-for-his-neighbors-gender-studies-degree/

Septic Trucks Arrive in Washington to Begin Refilling The Swamp

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Multiple sources are reporting that Biden-Harris septic trucks are beginning to arrive in Washington to refill the swamp.

Driven by executives from Wall Street, the military-industrial complex, and China, the trucks pulled in and immediately started filling the swamps that were devastated by the Trump administration’s policies. They are a key part of Joe Biden’s transition team, as he’s vowed to begin refilling the swamps on day one of his presidency.

“We are here to repair the enormous damage Trump did to the beautiful swamplands of D.C.,” said Kamala Harris in a speech, as Biden was napping…

Read more at https://babylonbee.com/news/septic-trucks-begin-refilling-the-swamp/

Girlfriend Keeps Referring to Herself as ‘Wife-Elect’ Despite No Official Word from Boyfriend | The Babylon Bee

DALLAS, TX—Sources close to Winston Davis say he is “totally screwed” as his girlfriend Wendy Fitzpatrick keeps referring to herself as “Wife-Elect” at any and every public gathering with close family and friends. This awkward situation is happening to Winston despite no clear moment in time in which it ever entered his mind that Wendy was “the one” or that he was even getting close to asking her the question to make such an interim title even remotely appropriate.

“Uh, honey—” Winston could be heard starting to interject before Wendy went ahead and dialed up local caterers and contractors to make arrangements for the wedding, which was surely going to unify their two families who haven’t always gotten along, and bring about a glorious time of family healing.

Wendy had even started delegating bridesmaids to begin getting fitted for dresses and unironically telling members of her family that she was setting up an “Office of the Wife-Elect.”…

Read more at https://babylonbee.com/news/girlfriend-keeps-referring-to-herself-as-wife-elect-despite-no-official-word-from-boyfriend/

Hero: Man Stranded On Desert Island Still Obediently Wearing His Mask | The Babylon Bee

CARIBBEAN—The U.S. Coast Guard announced today that they discovered a man who has been stranded on a deserted island in the Caribbean Ocean for over 5 months after his boat sunk in a storm. A spokesman for the USCG reported that this heroic man has been responsibly wearing his mask the entire time on the island, even though he is the only living soul in a thousand-mile radius…

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-marooned-on-island-still-wondering-if-he-needs-to-wear-a-face-mask/

10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee

This is a brief but chewy TED talk that would be good to be taught in kindergarten. But since most of us were not taught the art of conversation when we were young, let’s learn now. After the video box below is a comment I found helpful… a “table of contents” for the video… and an expression of appreciation. This video is definitely worth a careful listen.

1. Don’t multitask. (4:27)
2. Don’t pontificate. (4:50)
3. Use open ended questions. (6:02)
4. Go with the flow. (6:39)
5. If you don’t know, say that you don’t know. (7:26)
6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs. (7:46)
7. Try not to repeat yourself. (8:26)
8. Stay out of the weeds. (8:46)
9. Listen. (9:08)
10. Be brief. (10:29)

Listen. Be prepared to be amazed!
I wanted to summarize because I absolutely love this talk.