By Brian Reeves
In an effort to be helpful, I’ve distilled over the past few days information to help you cope with COVID-19. I hope this helps straighten out some of the confusion and misinformation out there!
1. Basically, you can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.
2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well. You must use the appropriate mask, i.e., those you cannot find.
3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.
4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there.
5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.
6. Gloves won’t help, but they can still help.
7. There is no shortage of groceries, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.
8. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.
9. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…
10. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms.
11. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn’t wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours.
12. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.
13. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn’t say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.
14. You should be safe if you stay at the recommended social distance. That distance is six feet, except when it is 10 or 27. YMMV.
15. We count the number of deaths but we don’t know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were “almost dead” to find out if that’s what they will die of…
16. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications).
17. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?
18. Your best source for accurate information is the president and his staff of advisors. Except when they disagree with each other or go on Meet the Press. Then, you must go by the information provided by your state’s governor unless, of course, your governor is of a different political party than you. In the latter case, you’re screwed. Just like the rest of us.
19. Once infected you develop immunity until you get reinfected again…. and again… or the virus reactivates two days after you are cured.