Rules for Reporting on Vaccines (parody)

From New World Order Reporter  by Darrel Crain, DC

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VACCINES HAVE gotten a lot of bad press in recent years. For example, during the last two epidemics of whooping cough in California, the majority of those infected with the pertussis bacteria were vaccinated. This led some reporters to interview independent scientists and report that many researchers have concluded that the pertussis vaccine is a complete failure. Not only does the vaccine fail to protect children from becoming infected they say, it seems to be weakening the immune systems of those vaccinated, making them more susceptible to infection.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) is finally taking steps to control the situation. While independent experts have called on the CDC to halt use of the ineffective vaccine immediately until a replacement vaccine can be developed that actually works, the approach adopted by the CDC is
much different: it has created a special new vaccine reporting office to control the information being disseminated to the public about vaccines.

The new CDC office is called the Vaccine Information Reporting Unification System (VIRUS), and aims to control the content of all reporting on all childhood vaccines, flu vaccines, and pretty much anything on the topic of mass vaccination programs. From here on out, any reporter who wishes to write about vaccines will have to first have their article reviewed and approved by the VIRUS office before it can be published.

“When too many smart parents start making dumb choices such as opposing vaccination, it is high time to make sure news about vaccines gets the positive spin it deserves,” said CDC director, Carlotta Schottz, MD, “by sorting out what is being said about vaccination, we are simply inoculating vaccines against bad press.” Schottz recently returned to the top CDC post after a 10-year hiatus while she served as president of the giant drug, vaccine, and pesticide maker, ACME Alchemy. “The CDC’s new vaccine education service will go a long way toward helping the American public make the right choice, stop whining, and just get vaccinated when we say so.”…

Read the entire story at Rules for Reporting on Vaccines.