A company is aiming to take advantage of the mindless celebrity worship culture by planning to feed fanatics their favorite celebrities.
“How do you connect with celebrities?” a video promo for BiteLabs asks. “TV? Over the Internet? At Concerts? BiteLabs gets you so much closer. We take celebrity cells, grow them into muscles, making robust, flavorful, healthy, eco-friendly artisanal salami. We bring you celebrity meat.”
“Here’s how it will work,” explains the Los Angeles Times. “A sample of tissue containing myosatellite cells (the type of cells that help repair and regrow damaged muscle) will be taken from a person during a biopsy. Those cells are multiplied in a lab using a medium that acts as an artificial blood to grow muscle.”
The company already has a few celebrities in mind, such as James Franco, Jennifer Lawrence, Kanye West and Ellen DeGeneres, and even recipes they believe complement their personalities.
The end result, BiteLabs testifies, is a “high-quality, luxury protein, in a sustainable manner that eliminates the environmental and ethical concerns associated with traditional livestock production.”…